By Tom Bridges
Dec 2005
We folks from up north are a contentious lot. Compared to our Mexican counterparts we are argumentative, loud, impolite, and overly proud when it comes to our opinions. Mexicans are polite to people they don’t even know, shun arguments if they can be avoided, talk in a low tone of voice, and try always to consider the opinions of others. Mexicans even refer to their elders with a set of verbs that are used to show respect. We from up north can’t even get along with one another. This makes us a subject of some curiosity to our new neighbors.
Nowhere is this phenomenon more apparent than in our Gringo Conclaves. We call them gated communities. The locals have been known to comment that they are not sure if the gates and walls are in place to keep people out or keep them in. It would seem, at times, that the conflicts generated inside those walls will tear the gates from the hinges, and the walls will fall as though Joshua was setting his legions to blow their horns. Inevitably, these conflicts spill over the walls and through the gates, and are visited on the local government officials to the puzzlement of all who are forced by office to sort through the bickering. It is often the case that neither the bicker-ors nor the bicker-ees have the foggiest idea about what point of law they wish local officials to use to prove the bickered points, much less do they know to what branch of government they actually should take the bickering.
All of this leaves government officials bewildered as to why such bickering is taking place in the first place. Entire pueblos can come to agreements without evoking police or upsetting even the secretary who notes the agreement so that the government officials can act on the proposal. Why is it, then, that we who have chosen Mexico as our new home are not setting the standard for behavior? Why is it that we must learn from our new neighbors how to act as adults and not as six-year-olds who haven’t gotten our way?
Perhaps one reason is that we are not accustomed to working together. We come from a society that teaches us to be individuals. Mexico is made up of individuals who put others first. It may be that the family is first or the community is first, but it is certain that the individual subverts most of his “wants” to the consensus of others. Nearly everyone in this society gives of himself to follow the societal niceties such as saying, “Buenos Dias” or “Buen Provecho” or “Salud” or “Con Permiso.” Tranquility is a highly prized attribute. Approaching matters calmly is expected. Shouting to make a point is not acceptable. Being rude is not even accepted from children.
Consider, then, how we must appear when we manifest our displeasures in municipal buildings, courts, and other public places. How can we be respected? If these behaviors were manifested by a small minority, then we would certainly not be judged as being unsavory. But when the majority yells and screams to draw attention to supposed mistreatment, then we must be lumped together as “Gringos.”
Would it not be better for us “Gringos” to show our business acumen and our diplomatic abilities in a calm and tranquil manner? Would we not accomplish everything we wish while garnering the respect due our collective age? How hard could it be to accept that putting others first is a valid lifestyle? Just because we were raised with a different concept of how to live life doesn’t mean that we can’t adapt to another in harmony with our advancing age, even if that means getting along with others of our own kind.
So in this time of Yule and resolutions, let us all resolve to extend Mexican courtesy to not only our Mexican neighbors but to our fellow North Americans as well. There is no need for nor is anything positive ever accomplished by rude behavior. Collectively let’s be ambassadors of goodwill as opposed to shining examples of bad acting. So while we are walking a kilometer in those Mexican huaraches perhaps we can also spend a little time in that pair of Birkenstocks our neighbor from up north wears. Hell, it might be fun to set a good example once in a while.